08 March, 2021

Does your friend’s good news fill you with envy instead of happiness?

Jealousy is a normal emotion that can help us learn more about what’s important to us and what we want in life.

We sometimes feel jealous when someone has something we don’t – whether it’s money, material objects, a relationship, or career success. But jealousy can be harmful if left unchecked, impacting our self-esteem, happiness, and relationships.

We hope these tips help if you’re struggling with feelings of envy in your friendships.


Confront the feelings

Take notice the next time you feel envy, and ask yourself what the emotion is trying to tell you. What’s making you jealous? Try to get to the root of the issue.

You might notice your envy is triggered by a particular person or topic. Maybe it’s a specific sibling or close friend you get jealous of, or perhaps you turn green when someone achieves a specific goal that you desire or feel insecure about.

Confront your jealousy and look within to learn what it says about your values and your self-worth. Have some self-compassion and remember that envy is a normal emotion; it’s nothing to be ashamed of.


Remember it’s you, not them

It can be easy to let jealousy take over and take our resentment and frustration out on the person we’re jealous of. But it’s important to remember that this is your issue, and your friend isn’t hurting you on purpose.

We’re all on our own path in life, and you may not make progress, achieve success or tick off milestones at the same pace as your friend.

If envy is impacting the way you treat your friend, it might help to be honest with them and address it instead of letting it fester.


Turn envy into motivation

As uncomfortable as envy can be, it can also be a powerful force for change.

When you pay attention to what makes you jealous, it can point you toward the steps we need to take to achieve our goals.

If you feel jealous of your friend’s new job, it might be a sign you should make a career change. If you envy your friend’s relationship, it might mean you should take action to improve yours or put yourself out there to meet new people.

Turn your envy into motivation to achieve the things you want and live the life you dream of.


Want to increase your support network? Talking to a counsellor can help you find ways to cope with feelings of envy and insecurity. You can call 1300 364 277 to book an appointment face to face, over the phone or via Zoom video call.

Are you putting your happiness on hold until you achieve a goal? If you suffer from “I’ll be happy when” syndrome, you might like our blog post How to Stop Waiting to be Happy.