Separating couples

1. Give yourself permission to be an emotional roller coaster.
2. Find some new interests (or rediscover old ones) that relieve your stress.
3. Expect to receive lots of advice that is well-meant, but not very useful and remember you don’t have to accept it.
4. Keep in mind that grief and healing take up lots of energy, so don’t expect too much of yourself.
5. If you want to search for answers to ‘why me’ and ‘why us’, expect to find some, but not them all.
6. If you feel a sense of ‘what’s the use’ or ‘what’s my future’, set small tasks that you can achieve, then build on that.
7. Don’t make any (other) drastic changes to your life.
8. If you were the person who left, know that you may feel a mix of guilt and relief, and that this is normal.
9. If you were the person who was left, know that you may feel furious, bewildered, despairing, vulnerable, isolated and lonely. This are all normal reactions.
10. Give yourself at least a year to grieve the loss of the relationship and heal the wounds